Invisible Hero
by Leah6
Summary: Harry thinks back on past regrets regarding Hermione. He has to tell her before he is gone forever. Warning: OOTP Spoilers! HHr angst
1. Regrets

A/N: Hey guys! I'm reposting this now. It's written better, and revised. I hope you like it... I know I enjoyed writing it. The song belongs to Clay Aiken and is called "Invisible," as you already know.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing...characters belong to JK Rowling. Bla Bla Bla.  
  
Summary: Harry muses over Ron and Hermione's relationship and how things could have been different. One shot songfic.  
  
This story is dedicated to Vampire Witch (liedariddle) who came up with the wonderful title! Thanks soo much!  
  
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Harry's POV  
  
I wish life was a fairytale. In fairytales, the hero defeats the "bad guy," saves the girl, and lives happily ever after. If only life was the same.  
  
No, life is cruel. You try so hard to push every terrible thing that comes your way behind your back, but then reality hits. Unfortunately when it hits, it hits hard. So hard it knocks you down and it feels impossible to get up again.  
  
When you do eventually manage to stand on your feet again, you're extremely weak. One more blow will do you in. With one more blow, your life could be over. I'm not talking literally of course. But mentally, you're scarred. You're scarred and there is nothing you can do to get rid of it. It's that, in the long run, that hurts the most.  
  
There's one thing I am going to admit before I share my story with you. I don't want to admit it. I am completely and utterly ashamed of myself. But this is something I have to do. I need to do it. Maybe if I get it out in the open I will feel better...but then again, maybe I'll feel worse. But I've agreed to tell you, and I'm not going to back down from that now.  
  
I admit that I should have told her sooner how I felt, and I regret it everyday. But that's how it goes. "You live and learn," that's what Sirius used to tell me...when he was still alive...before I killed him. I've certainly lived through a lot in my 18 years of existence, and I've most definitely learned a thing or two.  
  
I've always had trouble with thinking before I act. I have the tendency to just jump into anything. I don't look ahead or delve into the matter. I usually don't have a plan before I act, and that's something I've learned from. If I had learned that sooner, maybe I wouldn't be sitting here alone...without Hermione.  
  
Now let me say something else before you jump to conclusions that I'm some mindless, selfish fool. (Which I would agree to at some times) When I went to her that night, I was acting upon the heart. When you're in love, the tendency to think before acting is even harder. I learned that the hard way. But that's not the point. Sometimes, it feels like the heart controls the brain in some cases. Now I'm no scientist or anything, but I can tell when someone is acting from the heart. I'm not oblivious to everything going on around me. I could tell Ron liked her from the very beginning. He was always so protective of her. When Malfoy would make fun of her, or call her some name like, "Filthy Mudblood," he would jump all over him so quickly, not thinking about what he was doing. Sometimes the consequences of his actions weren't all that great. But, it took him till the Yule Ball in fourth year to finally acknowledge her for what she was, a girl. She wasn't the prettiest witch in the school, but she was beautiful in her own way. She was a sweet, smart, kind and caring young woman...what more could you want?  
  
I will admit it...I was mindless and oblivious to some things back then. If I wasn't, I would have realized I loved her from the start as well as Ron. Maybe I could have at least been in the running if I would have. But again, that's how the world works...no matter how unfortunate it may be.  
  
All I can say for myself is this. She chose Ron...she loves Ron. I may have a hard time dealing with it, but eventually...I will move on. I will find someone else who will become very special to me, just as she is and always will be. I will always love Hermione so much; she means the world to me. If something ever happened to her, I don't know what I would do. But I do know this. If loving Ron makes her happy...then I'm happy. As long as she is safe and happy, then so am I. I say this to myself over and over whenever I see them together. "She's happy...be happy for her." It seems to work for the most part as well. It gives me comfort and reassurance to know everything is going well for her. But I swear, if Ron ever does something to hurt her, I will kill the slimy git.  
  
Now listen here. I know what you are thinking. But let me tell you; I do not hate Ron...quite the opposite actually. Ron was and is my very best friend, and nothing can ever change what he did for me. He looked past everything, past the scar and the fame, and saw me for who I was...a regular kid. There is nothing I could ever do to express the gratitude I feel for my very best friends. Even though we never always agreed on everything, we eventually would patch everything up. Nothing could keep us apart...even love, and I realize that now.  
  
At first, I thought they had forgotten all about me. I thought they had started their "new relationship" and just kicked me out of their life for good. I look back on that now and realize how childish that was of me. Their relationship was just starting, and it was difficult at first. Everything was so new to them. And I realize I made everything harder for them. That is another thing I regret. I should have known that no matter what trials we face, we would always be best friends; even if that trial happened to be love.  
  
Ok, now that I've told you my life story of the past five months, I suppose you want to know the details of exactly what happened between me and Hermione. OK...I will tell you, just as long as you don't laugh at my stupidity. Again I regret what I did. I don't regret telling her then, (because I was about to leave and that was the last time I would have the chance) but I wish I would have told her sooner. I might try to blame someone or something else for the outcome, but in the end I know...  
  
It's my entire fault.  
  
~flashback: Harry's POV~  
  
I was walking back from a very tiring Quidditch practice. I had called the team for a final practice before the final game against Slytherin, because I was elected Captain after Angelina left. If we won, we would win the House Cup. It would be my final game before I left Hogwarts forever.  
  
The whole time it was pouring down rain, making it extremely hard for me and the rest of the team to practice. But despite the rain, we managed to get a decent amount of work done, except for Ron, our keeper, who decided to skip the last practice.  
  
"Note to self: kill Ron when I get back to the Common Room."  
  
I was a quite a sight. I was drenched in mud, my nose was bleeding freely, and I carried my glasses which were broken in half, me having taken a bludger to the face.  
  
"I guess I see Ron's point in not coming...but it still makes me mad."  
  
As he made his way up the Grand Staircase to Gryffindor Tower, my mood became more serious. I had come to a decision that tonight, I would tell her. I would tell her everything I had kept locked up inside of me for the past three years. Tonight, I was going to tell Hermione I loved her.  
  
"What if she says no? No...think positive, Harry..."  
  
"If she does claim to be in love with you too, how do you know for sure she's only agreeing because of your fame and money?" the negative part of his mind argued.  
  
"Shut up!" I spat viciously. "Hermione's not like that. She sees through that. She looks past it all and cares for me because of who I am, not because I'm the bloody 'Boy who Lived.'"  
  
"Why did you have to bring this up now?" I whispered. "I was doing just great until you decided to start this."  
  
Once again my mind argued, "Don't blame me, Harry. It's your fault!"  
  
"It's all my fault," I whispered to myself. "Everything that's happened has been my fault. Everyone whose died, my parents, Sirius, the Dursleys, it's all my fault. Just because of some stupid prophecy by Trelawney, I've put everyone in danger. Everything would be better if I was gone. Everyone would be safe. Voldemort wouldn't constantly be on my tail, killing everyone I've known and loved.  
  
Stray tears dripped down his mud-streaked face, running down his cheeks and dropping to the ground, leaving a tiny puddle. I'd left a trail of mud from the Entrance Hall, all the way up the stairs to the 7th floor. But nothing mattered anymore; nothing but her and what Iwas going to tell her.  
  
Harry used a cleaning charm on himself to clean up all the mud, and then an "occulus reparo" charm to fix his glasses.  
  
He took a deep breath, said the password, and walked slowly but defiantly into the Gryffindor Common Room.  
  
I saw Ron and Hermione talking quietly together on the couch. What I heard next made my heart stop.  
  
"Ron," came Hermione's voice quietly and squeakily. Very unlike her.  
  
"Yes, Hermione?" he said, turning to face her. The way he looked at her made me want to hex him into oblivion.  
  
"There's something I need to tell you," she continued, looking down shyly.  
  
"Oh God... no. Don't let it be-"  
  
"I love you..." Hermione whispered, her cheeks turning a brilliant shade of red.  
  
"Please oh please, oh please-  
  
He was yet again cut off by a loud voice.  
  
"You- you do?" Ron said incredulously. "Hermione, I- I love you, too. You don't know how long I've wanted to tell you. I'm sorry...I should have told you sooner! I'm sorry Herm-  
  
But he was cut off as a pair of pink lips covered his own.  
  
They were too wrapped up in themselves to pay any attention to their green- eyed friend, who walked up the spiral staircase... defeated.  
  
"Join the party, Ron. I wish I had told her sooner, too. At least she loves you back."  
  
He had lost, lost the only thing worth living for. The one woman he cared for above anything else...Hermione. To Ron of all people.  
  
He should have been happy for them, but it's very hard to watch the girl you love in the arms of another guy and be happy... extremely hard.  
  
~end of flashback~  
  
*What are you doing tonight  
  
I wish I could be a fly on your wall*  
  
I still wonder that if I had told her sooner what would be different. But there it is again. What happens happens...and there's nothing you can do to change it. I still won't take back what I said though. Ron said he wished he had told her sooner...that may be, but at least he came out the winner.  
  
Don't tell me, I know what you're thinking; I'm being selfish. I'm really sorry, but it's kind of hard not to be. Don't you think you would be? It's extremely hard to watch the girl of your dreams in the arm of another guy...especially when that guy just so happens to be your best friend.  
  
*Are you really alone  
  
Still in your dreams  
  
Why can't I bring you into my life*  
  
When they had first announced they were "going out" I had tried so hard to be happy for them. I think I actually tried a bit too hard. When I said they seemed to have forgotten about me, I didn't mean completely ignore me at all times. No, they still talked to me, but things were different. I knew Hermione would not tell me everything she now told Ron and that hurt, but I couldn't say anything because Ron was her boyfriend.  
  
Anyways, I sometimes seemed to try too hard. Every time she talked about Ron I had to force myself to smile and nod and listen to every word she was saying. Let me tell you, it wasn't easy.  
  
*What would it take to make you see that I'm alive If I was invisible  
  
Then I could just watch you in your room  
  
If I was invisible  
  
I'd make you mine tonight*  
  
It did take them some time to begin talking to me regularly again. Things seemed to be back to normal for the most part, but the heartache I felt was still there and I didn't think it would be going away anytime soon. When things started going back to normal, I let my guard down some. I didn't try to pretend to be happy as much when she talked about him. Ron didn't know at all, which is typical of him. He was always oblivious to everything. But even he can tell something had changed in me. But then again, a blind man could even tell something was wrong with the way I was acting.  
  
Everything had changed. The other students had picked up on it as well. The constant whispers and glances at me gave it all away. There were rumors going around that Ron and Hermione fell in love and forgot about Harry. Well, he thought to himself, those are definitely not rumors. That's the truth.  
  
I also wonder sometimes why things had to change. Remus always tells me things happen for a reason, and I want to know what the reason for this was. Sometimes I wish I hadn't fallen in love with Hermione. I wish things could have stayed as simple as they were when we were all eleven. No one was worried about "silly crushes" then. We were just eleven year olds, learning as much as we could about the Wizarding World. Little kids who had their first fight against Voldemort. We didn't know what we were doing when we went down that trap door. We never thought Voldemort could be behind everything that had happened. We went down there thinking we would find Snape at the end, trying to get the Sorcerer's Stone. In the end though, we were surprised to find it wasn't Snape. That's where I had my first encounter with Voldemort, but unfortunately, not my last.  
  
Okay, I sort of went off track there, sorry. It's just... I wish things are as simple now as they were back then. If that was the way it was, I wouldn't have to go through this heartache. If I never loved her, I wouldn't be the way I am now. A shell of the person I once was. That night when I went to tell her, I had never even thought about the possibility of her saying "no," or that she loved someone else. Those thoughts never once ran through my head. Now I see how selfish I was. I feel like a fool... no, I am a fool.  
  
But, there's also a part of me that needs to love her, whether her feelings are mutual or not. Things would be different if I never loved her, I am sure of that. A part of me would be missing if I never did. I would be a different person, and I'm not sure if I like that person or not. In the end, I know my love for Hermione will never falter, even though I can't say the same for her.  
  
Okay, I went way off track, but... I'm glad I shared it. Now where was I? Oh yes...Hermione.  
  
Hermione on the other hand, finally noticed a difference in me and my personality. She's just that kind of person. It might take her a while to pick up on it, but when she does she is very persistent about it. That's one of the reasons why I love her so much.  
  
*If hearts were unbreakable  
  
Then I can just tell you where I stand  
  
I would be the smartest man  
  
If I was invisible*  
  
Here I am, trying to move on, but I'm still listing reasons of why I love her. I swear it's a never ending cycle. It's impossible to get her out of my head. At first, I tried my hardest to completely forget about my love for her. When they realized I hadn't been acting like myself, they tried to talk to me. This took them a while though, after they had gotten use to their new relationship. I did my best to avoid them, but in the end found I couldn't. I now know there is no way I could ever forget about her. You can never forget first loves, no matter how hard you try. And now I realize I should have never wanted to forget about her. Life without Hermione in it, to me would be, not a life at all. Well, maybe a life, but not a life I would want to be living.  
  
*Wait... I already am*  
  
It had been two months since they had been going out, and I still cried...every single night. Me, Harry Potter, savior of the Wizarding and Muggle world alike, crying over a girl. If Voldemort could have seen me, he would have laughed himself to the bone. How pitiful was I? No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't force myself to move on. In fact, I began to love her more and more each day, just as I do today.  
  
*I saw your face in the crowd  
  
I called out your name  
  
You don't hear a sound*  
  
It's funny, every girl in school had asked me out and I refused each one. Why? Because they all paled in comparison to Hermione. All those other girls didn't love me. They saw me as a prize, something they could brag about to their friends. But I am no prize and I am definitely not something to brag about. Who would want to go out with someone Voldemort wants killed? Whoever I cared for, or loved, would be on his list to kill.  
  
Back then, I had thought what I had seen as Hermione's point of view. Why would she love me? She had Ron, who had a family to go home to every summer. A family who loved him and is always there for him. Voldemort's not after him. He never has to constantly look behind his back. But it's still did not seem fair. It hurt to know I could go out with any girl except the one I love. I found that very ironic.  
  
*I keep tracing your steps  
  
Each move that you make  
  
Wish I could be what goes through your mind*  
  
A few weeks later, I was called to Dumbledore's office. I knew what awaited me; I knew what he was going to say. He was going to tell me the one thing I had been dreading for the past seven years.  
  
*Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life*  
  
~flashback~  
  
It was one month before graduation. In one month, I and the rest of my fellow 7th years would be leaving Hogwarts forever. We would be facing the real world where our futures await. I'm terrified of my future.  
  
I knew it would happen soon. Voldemort was becoming more powerful every second and it was only a matter of time before the "final battle" took place. So everyone knew what was going to happen when I was called to his office that dreadful day in April.  
  
"Harry, you know why you were called here I assume," Dumbledore said slowly, peering at him over his half moon spectacles.  
  
"Yes sir," I said.  
  
I had tried to sound as confident as possible, but was finding it extremely difficult.  
  
"We know where he is, Harry. It is time for you to face your destiny. I know you didn't ask for this, Harry. But, we know that you can do it. You have been trained well. But, I am afraid that hexes and curses are not enough," Dumbledore said, leaving a very confused looking Harry.  
  
"Then, what will?" Harry asked.  
  
"You have to believe in yourself. You have to face Voldemort knowing you can persevere. Without that, well... I really don't want to think about what could happen. Your friends all believe in you, Harry. Put your hope in them. Fight for them and all those you love..." he finished.  
  
Harry slowly nodded his head and asked, "So when-  
  
"You leave tomorrow morning, before the school awakes. Remus will be here with a portkey. Meet him downstairs in the Entrance Hall at 4:00 AM sharp. You can do this, Harry, we all believe in you."  
  
"Your parents would be proud, they love you so much, Harry. They wanted you to know that they are always right beside you, watching over you, even though they can't physically be here. Fight for them, Harry."  
  
Harry got up from his chair and headed for the spiral staircase when...  
  
"Oh, and Harry? Talk, to her tonight... you will regret it if you don't," he heard Dumbledore say as the spiraling staircase took him to the empty corridor.  
  
~end of flashback~  
  
He's damn right when he said I didn't ask for any of this. If I could, I would love to have a life like Ron's. He has a loving family and the most caring, beautiful woman in the world. I can't believe that time in fourth year when he said he would rather live my life. He didn't know what he was talking about. We were all immature then, me included, me having failed to realize what was in front of me for four years. That night at the Yule Ball was when I knew I loved her. She had never looked more beautiful. Sadly, it took a dress and her on the arm of another guy for me to see what she was for the first time, a beautiful kind and caring young woman. Not to mention incredibly smart.  
  
It surprised me when he talked to me about my parents. He was right though. Even though they are not here physically, they're here in spirit. "Fight for them," Dumbledore said. I plan to do just that...  
  
Believe in yourself, which was the final thing I remembered from Dumledore's speech. That is definitely something I don't do often. It's hard to believe in yourself when you are responsible for so many deaths.  
  
That night, I did exactly what Dumbledore told me to do. I talked to her. He said I would regret it if I didn't. Well, I know I would have regretted it if I hadn't, but I also regret not doing it sooner.  
  
~flashback~  
  
So there I was finally, knocking on the Head Girl's door, doing exactly what Dumbledore told me to. That man never ceases to amaze me. He knows everything going on in my head, I swear he does.  
  
"Who is it?" she calls briskly, which makes me smile. Same old Hermione.  
  
"It's Harry," I say, amazed at how deep my voice sounds. I am quickly getting nervous. Beads of sweat are dripping from my forehead and I try quickly to swipe them away.  
  
"Harry?" she asks, sounding surprised.  
  
I hear a groan and a quick, "I'll be right back," then a shuffling of feet. I grimace, realizing what I interrupted. I tried my hardest to stop the tears that threatened to fall down my face. It had been a lot harder then I thought it would have been.  
  
"Maybe I should leave now, yes I-  
  
I was cut off as the door creaked open and a very flushed Hermione stepped out. There was no way I could leave then, she wouldn't have let me anyway. I couldn't help but stare at the beautiful woman that stood before me.  
  
"I need to talk to you," I said quietly.  
  
She looks at me questioningly, and then says, "Ok, sure Harry."  
  
"Can we go somewhere private?" I asked feeling embarrassed and becoming even more nervous.  
  
"My god, what has she done to me?" I remember asking myself.  
  
I couldn't even talk to her without sounding like a complete fool.  
  
"This is so much different then when we were just best friends," I had thought to myself.  
  
"Hold on, let me tell Ron," she says, stepping back inside for a few moments. When she came back out I said,  
  
"How about we take a walk around the lake, like old times?" I suggested meekly, hoping dearly she would consent. Thankfully she did.  
  
We walked in silence until we finally reached the water's edge. We sat down of the grass, side by side. She pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knee. She pulled a loose strand of hair behind her ear.  
  
"Harry... what's going on with you lately? You've been distant. Please tell me, you can trust me... can't you?" she had said quietly.  
  
"Of course I can trust you, I just-  
  
"Then tell me, please. I miss you, Harry. So does Ron. Tell me... is it Voldemort? Has Dumbledore told you anything? Have you heard something from the Order? Is Voldemort coming?"  
  
Harry laughed lightly. "Calm down, Hermione." He gently hugged her but let go soon after. I loved the fact that she could say Voldemort without flinching one bit.  
  
"It is about Voldemort, isn't it?" she said, sniffing a bit. She blushed. "Sorry I'm crying, it's just I've missed you so much, Harry. Things have changed so much, what with Ron and I being together. Wait, is that why you've been distant? Listen, Harry, we never meant for you to feel like the third-wheel. It's just, this relationship is so new, even I'm still trying to get used to it. I'm so sorry, Harry. You should have said something, we didn't mean for you to feel left out. I'm really sorry!" she was crying harder now. He wrapped her in another hug.  
  
"No, Hermione. It's fine. I understand you have had a lot to deal with. I know you didn't mean to ignore me..." I had said quietly.  
  
"Stop... you're making me feel guilty!" she said playfully.  
  
"Maybe that's what I wanted to do," he decided to tease her.  
  
"Harry!" she yelled, as he began to tickle her. "Harry, stop!" she said through her laughter.  
  
"Fine, fine," he said finally, ceasing the tickling.  
  
"I wish things were always like that, like it was in 1st and 2nd year. We would always tease one another and play around like that all the time. I wish things wouldn't have changed. I wish I never fell in love with Ron in a way. Everything is so complicated. I liked it better when we were all just best friends..." she said all this quickly, but quietly.  
  
Harry's face fell at the mention of love and Ron. So she is definitely in love with him. Harry let out a sigh, trying to keep from crying. It was now or never...  
  
"Hermione, listen. I have to leave tomorrow morning," he said determinedly, his focus never leaving her chocolate eyes.  
  
"Leave? What do you mean? Where are you going?" her eyes filled with a look of concern and confusion.  
  
"I...I have to fight Voldemort, Hermione. You know that," he said simply, allowing a tear to fall, not bothering to wipe it away.  
  
"But, but, why now, Harry? We're about to graduate! Can't it wait?" she said loudly, now crying freely.  
  
"Please don't cry, Hermione. It's hard enough telling you already..." he was crying just as hard as she was.  
  
"But what if something happens to you? What... what if you never come back, Harry? I couldn't stand the thought of losing you to... to him!"  
  
"There are no promises, Hermione. You heard the Prophecy. It's either him, or it's me,"  
  
"I know, Harry! But it's not fair. Why can't someone else fight him? You have your whole life ahead of you... so much going for you. We're going to graduate in a few weeks and you're going away to fight Voldemort! It's just not fair..."  
  
Harry reached out his hand and touched Hermione's cheek, wiping away a few stray tears with his thumb. "This is my destiny... ever since I was born I was destined to fight Voldemort. I have to do this, Hermione, whether it's fair or not, I have to."  
  
Hermione nodded, not saying a word. She embraced Harry once more. He stroked her soft hair, wishing he never had to let go. He would have been content to spend the rest of his life right here with her in his arms, but that could not happen.  
  
"When... when are you leaving?" she managed to choke out.  
  
He took a deep breath before saying, "Tomorrow morning. Lupin will be here with a Portkey at 4:00."  
  
"Tomorrow? No... that's too soon! You can't leave, Harry! Please don't leave..."  
  
"I have to, Hermione. Now listen, there's something I need to tell you. Just promise me something before I do, okay?"  
  
"Yes, sure... anything," she said quickly, not pausing to think.  
  
"Just promise me that no matter what happens tonight, or tomorrow, that you will never forget me or hate me, please? "  
  
"Forget you? Hate you? Harry... how could I forget you? Why would I hate you Harry?" she said all this very fast. I could tell she was confused.  
  
"Harry! I could never hate you, or forget you, I love you!"  
  
"You- you do?" he said more loudly than he'd intended. A ray of hope spread through him.  
  
"Of course you silly git! You're my best friend! Why wouldn't I?"  
  
The hope that had filled within me had quickly vanished at her words. More tears fell and he let out a sigh. Best friend... those words rang through my body like a bell. For one tiny flickering moment, I thought maybe, just maybe she felt the same way. I felt very stupid at that moment. She was very content with Ron.  
  
"Hermione, I love you too," I choke out through my sobs. She tries to embrace me in a hug, but I don't let her. She doesn't understand, and I need her to, so badly.  
  
"No 'Mione, you don't understand," I say and receive a puzzled look from her. I took a deep breath... this was it. "Hermione... I love you. I'm in love with you."  
  
She lets out a gasp and I cry harder, but force myself to continue.  
  
"I've loved you for so long and I wish so badly I had told you sooner."  
  
She stays silent for a moment, just staring at me with a look of complete astonishment. I think she had gotten her surprise of the century.  
  
Tears began to fall steadily from her face. Her face turns from a look of anger, to hurt, to sorrow. "Since... since when?" she chokes out.  
  
"Since forever," I say lamely. "It took the Yule Ball and you on the arm of another guy for me to realize it. I know you are with Ron, but I just needed to tell you..." he had never cried harder then he was then. "I know I can't change what's in your heart, Hermione... but I do love you, so much it hurts..."  
  
He didn't expect her to say anything, and he couldn't blame her. "I don't want you feeling sorry for me or to blame yourself. It's not your fault. The heart chooses who it wants to love, and it didn't choose me. I'm not going to say I'm thrilled about you and Ron because that would obviously be a lie. But I do wish for you and him to be safe. And if I do come back victorious, I pray that you will forgive me. If I don't... well, please just remember your promise. Never forget me, please. I hope you don't hate me. I love you 'Mione... so much. I'm so sorry..."  
  
I look at her one last time, long and hard. I will never forget the expression on her face that night. Anger, sadness, and sorrow all mixed into one. I didn't know whether she was sad or wanted to kill me right then. It made me wonder what she had been thinking right then. What does she think of me now? I ruined the happiest moments of her life. She had a great boyfriend, was at the top of her class, and about to graduate Valedictorian of course. I don't think I could ever forgive someone who did that to me.  
  
I turned to walk away. I was halfway back to the castle when I heard a motion behind me. Before I knew it, Hermione had her arms wrapped around my neck in a tight hug. I gasped in surprise but quickly hugged her back as tightly as possible. She let go a few seconds after, never saying a word. She gave me one last look and ran off towards the castle.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
That hug had meant the world to me. It gave me comfort. Even though I couldn't claim Hermione as mine, at least I knew she didn't hate me. Even though I didn't hear the words I longed to, I knew she would never forget her promise.  
  
*I reach out But you don't even see me  
  
Even when I'm screaming  
  
Baby, you don't hear me  
  
I am nothing without you  
  
Just a shadow passing through...*  
  
If life was a fairytale, Voldemort would be dead. If life was a fairytale, Hermione would be in my arms. But I know life is not a fairytale and never will be, not matter how much you want it to be. No, life is what it is. It doesn't always deal you a winning hand. It's real, and you can't change it. Things don't always go the way you want them to, but you learn to live with what does happen. It might be difficult, but eventually you make do with what you have, and the people that love you. You eventually learn to be happy with that.  
  
*If I was invisible Then I could just watch you in your room If I was invisible  
  
I'd make you mine tonight  
  
If hearts were unbreakable  
  
Then I can just tell you where I stand  
  
I would be the smartest man  
  
If I was invisible*  
  
No, life is not a fairytale, and you don't always live happily ever after. Life isn't always going to deal you a winning hand. I've learned not to ask for more then I deserve, and I definitely do not deserve Hermione.  
  
She would always have a special place in my heart that no one else could ever take away. I promised myself I would keep her and everyone else safe. I would avenge my parent's and Sirius' death. I will fulfill my destiny and come out victorious. Yes, there are many things I regret, and there will be many things I will come to regret in the future. But if you focus on past regrets, you will never accomplish anything. Yes, I will always regret not telling Hermione how I felt sooner, but that's how it goes. You can't take it back. Don't get me wrong, I will always love her forever.  
  
You are probably wondering where I am right now. Well, it's kind of difficult to explain. It's been two days since I took the portkey to Voldemort's hideout. When I arrived, he wasn't there. He had been there very recently, I knew that. It was in the air. There was only one smell like the smell of something as terrible as Voldemort, and I knew that smell.  
  
I am able to communicate with Dumbledore. I told him Voldemort was not where I was told he would be. He had told me he was in the area. He had sensed my arrival and fled. That surprised me. Why would he flee from me? He's never done that before. Maybe he knows something I don't. That would not be uncommon.  
  
Well, I plan on an encounter with Voldemort any day now. But for now, I sit and wait. I'm some hero aren't I? Sitting and waiting in the shadows for the enemy. I thought I would be taking the liberty of looking for him. But I take my orders from Dumbledore.  
  
Dumbledore always told me that so many people look up to me as their hero, their deliver. So I guess to some, I'm a Savior. I'm their Savior who will release them Voldemort's final reign of terror. I don't like to consider myself a Savior, just an invisible hero.  
  
*Wait... I already am...*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: So what'd you think? Did you like it, hate it? Didn't you love how Harry was so understanding at the end? At first I made him jealous, and depressed, but I changed it because I don't like Harry like that. Please leave me a review and let me know! Rachel, I'm sorry it took me forever to get this out. I had it written, but didn't like it, so I rewrote part of it. Again, I'm sorry! But I hope you liked it all the same! If you want me to write another chapter, about the final battle, let me know. I would really love to, but only if you want it, so let me know please! Please leave a review! -Leah 


	2. Brooding

A/N: Hey guys! I finally have the second chapter posted. I apologize for taking so long. I had a serious case of writer's block. But here it is...finally. Oh yes, please don't kill me, but the final battle is not in this chapter. This chapter is explaining a few things to help you understand. I think it is essential for you to understand Harry's feelings here. So please, stay with me! I promise to have the next chapter up within a week. Thanks to all who reviewed last chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing you see here, except the plot. This story here is simply here to pass time until the next book.  
  
Invisible Hero: Chapter Two- Brooding  
  
~*~  
  
Harry's POV  
  
Here I am, in a place I never thought I would see again. I thought I would be long gone before I even began to throw a curse at him. Even now, as I am watching my friends and classmates fall dead around me, nothing ceases to surprise me...not in the slightest.  
  
Okay, I take the part back where I said I thought I would never see this place again. I sort of had a wrenching feeling in my gut that somehow, someway, it would end up back here...at my home.  
  
I guess I just didn't want to believe it was really happening. Voldemort knew my weakness. It was only a matter of time before he wore me down. Hermione was right, what she said in fifth year, I do have a "saving people" thing. I didn't realize, until now that is, how much that would hurt me in the end.  
  
But it's not fair, you know? You try so hard to put up a brave front for everyone. You try to fight for what you know is right. But when the end result is not in everyone's favor, everything turns hectic. The person who was brave enough to try to do the right thing gets blamed for the horrible outcome. Not to point fingers at anyone, but I've experienced that quite a few times lately.  
  
Sometimes, late at night when I am left all alone with my thoughts, I wonder if all this is worth it. And every time my mind begins to sway just a little in the direction that it's not, I feel disgusted and angry with myself. Selfish, that's what I am. I am a stubborn, selfish fool.  
  
Oh who am I kidding? This is my destiny, my story. It's not my fault Trelawney made that damn prophecy! It's not my fault Voldemort chose me! But it is my fault people have died, and it is up to me to avenge their deaths. No matter what it takes...I will. Like I said, this is my story. I guess I'm entering the final chapter. And if I want a happy ending, I've got to fight for it.  
  
I knew this time would come. Ever since I was fourteen, and watched the Dark Lord resurrect before my eyes. I knew it would come, but I dreaded it with every shred of humanity I had in me.  
  
~*~  
  
I never thought it was possible to be that scared. Never in my life have I been as terrified as I was then at that one unforgettable moment. Standing on the grounds of my school, fighting with all the people I had gotten to know over the years. And before us stood Voldemort and his army of Death Eaters, fighting back just as fiercely.  
  
To say I was scared is the understatement of the century. But I wasn't scared for myself. I knew this was destined to happen. I was afraid for my classmates and for the Professors who I had come to see as parents. I was afraid for my best friend, and mostly, for the girl I loved more then life itself. All of them fighting to restore peace and harmony to the world. Each of them put up a valiant effort, and to see one fall to the ground was devastating.  
  
For me, the hard part of war is not the fighting, for I am pretty skilled in Defense against the Dark Arts, but the fact that I was not the only one in danger.  
  
I felt responsible for every single person fighting with me. Even though they stood by me because they chose to, it didn't stop me from feeling that sharp pang of guilt whenever someone was hit by a curse from a Death Eater. Every time I saw one of my friends or fellow classmates fall dead, it was like a thousand hot knives plunging into my chest and twisting painfully. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold my resolve much longer.  
  
~*~  
  
Hogwarts...my true home. My safe-haven. The one place I had friends; the one place where I could be myself and not have everyone gawking at this cursed scar on my forehead. I never pictured it in ruins. I always thought of Hogwarts as the ultimate stronghold, nothing could tear it down. But I've learned that even the strongest walls can be brought down somehow. Too bad that Hogwarts would be where I and many others would meet our downfalls...  
  
I guess I owe you all an explanation. Dumbledore had informed me that Voldemort had been spotted near the outskirts of Hogsmeade. This had struck me as odd. Why would he hide out somewhere where he could be so easily spotted? It just didn't add up! The idea that it could have all been a trick never occurred to me...until it was too late.  
  
I had waited for awhile, watching...waiting. I never saw a blasted thing. He had been there, though...I could smell it.  
  
Two days had passed and still there was nothing. Until midnight of the third day, when I received an urgent message from Dumbledore. I never would have imagined that three simple words could turn your world upside down. I never expected three simple words could be so traumatizing and have such a great impact on a person. I never imagined it to be possible...but it was.  
  
"Harry...he's here."  
  
Never had I heard such urgency and desperation in his voice. Albus Dumbledore was a man I admired so greatly. Every time things were rough, he always appeared cool, calm, and collected.  
  
Even that time in fifth year in the Ministry of Magic, when Dumbledore had fought Voldemort one-on-one. He never seemed to show the slightest bit of inclination that he was worried, or even afraid.  
  
I guess he knew that this was it...this was the end. And the fact that it was all ending at Hogwarts, at his home as well as mine, really got to him. He knew that the end was coming, but even he didn't know what the outcome would be.  
  
~*~  
  
Please excuse my sarcasm, but I'm not in the best of moods right now. Having just discovered that I was tricked and have therefore put people I love in danger does not result in seeing the best side of a person.  
  
Yes...Voldemort tricked me, just like many others before also. He had ordered a few of his Death Eaters to go to Hogsmeade. By doing so, he knew Dumbledore would send me to investigate. Why Dumbledore was so certain Voldemort was there is beyond me, because he has never been a man to be tricked so easily.  
  
Anyway, it turned out I had been lured there to purposely get me away from Hogwarts. That way, Voldemort had more of a "clear field," you might say. He would have fewer obstacles to get past on his mission to destroy Hogwarts, Dumbledore, and finally...me.  
  
Yes, the three barriers that consistently seemed to foil his plans. And to put it simply...Voldemort was fed up. He wanted revenge, and he wanted it now. And what a better way to do it then by using Harry Potter?  
  
First, he would destroy me mentally and emotionally. Then he would go in for the kill. He would hurt me physically.  
  
Voldemort knew that I would feel guilty and hold myself responsible. He knew that it would eat me from the inside out and there was nothing I could do to control it. I can just hear Voldemort's maniacal laughter resounding in my head, never ceasing. The very thought sickens me to no end.  
  
Damn you, Voldemort.  
  
Damn you, Voldemort for being right. It irks me to know that he knew how to get to me. It makes my skin crawl to know he has power over me. He can tamper with my conscience, like I'm some toy, and then completely and utterly destroy me. Or so I tend to think sometimes. But I knew this was his plan.  
  
Always has Voldemort been deceptive. That's how he rose to power so quickly. His deceptiveness has caused the downfall of many great wizards and witches.  
  
I sincerely don't think it's possible for there to be any human left in him. He is pure evil. I don't think of him as a person any longer. To me, he is merely a beast. And as in reality, man will conquer over beast.  
  
Voldemort has caused much despair and turmoil in the world, Wizarding and Muggle alike. And it is time for his reign of terror to end. He will meet his downfall tonight, even if I have to go along with him. I swear it on my life. He might be more powerful and stronger than I am, but it doesn't matter. In the end, justice will be served, and if I have to be a part of it...so be it.  
  
What's one man anyway if happiness is restored to the world? In my opinion, not much if he is willing. If that's what it takes, I will sacrifice myself. I will sacrifice myself for all the people I love. It's my way of repaying them for all that they've done for me; even though I never deserved any of it.  
  
It's my fault they've suffered so much; so if I have to die in order for my debt to be restored, so be it. But Voldemort ought to keep one thing in mind:  
  
I will not go down without a fight...  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: So...what did ya think? Yeah I know, not my best piece of writing, but hey, I felt this chapter was important. I think I owe it to my readers to let them know what's going on, even if it takes a whole chapter. I swear the final battle will be in the next one! So please stick with me for just a little longer. Let me know what you think by leaving a nice review! I love you all to death! -Leah 


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